The Eggs Were Violated

I decided I was going to make some egg salad the other day.  Of course the main ingredient for egg salad is…eggs.  I put half a dozen eggs into a small pot and turned on the burner, then left the kitchen to do something else.  I had forgotten all about the eggs until I heard my daughter in the kitchen…

Lauren, would you take the eggs off the stove and peel them for me?

Feel them?

Yes.  Peel them.


(a few seconds pass)

Mama, I’m feelin’ your eggs.  They’re really hot.

Yeah, I guess so, since you just took them off the stove.

(a few more seconds pass)

Yep.  I’m feelin’ up the eggs.  They’re sooo hot.

(a few more seconds pass)

How are they supposed to feel?

Uh…Violated since you’re “feelin’ them up” and treat them with total disrespect.

A few minutes later, I walked back into the kitchen and I noticed that the eggs hadn’t been peeled like I asked her to do.

Lauren, I thought you said you peeled the eggs.

Ooooh.  I thought you asked me to “feel” the eggs.

Just another day.


6 thoughts on “The Eggs Were Violated

  1. This so reminds me of my own eldest daughter..she blew me off for years when I tried to teach her to cook. Now she is on her own and wishes she had learned a little something. I would love to just get rid of my microwave and teach my youngest to really cook. Feeling eggs, I suppose it could be so much worse…

  2. OK, Annie, now this is just TOOOOOOOO funny! Somehow I can see this happening in my head and I can’t stop giggling.

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