Can We Say “TMI”?

Ummm…  I guess the beginning is as good a place to start as any.

My mom is filipina.  My dad is caucasian.  They met while my dad was in the Navy.  He got out of the Navy and joined the Air Force.  I’m told I was born during an earthquake in the Philippines.  Moved in and out of the states a couple of times after I was born and became the oldest of four girls.  We came to the states permanently in 1976 to live in Oregon.  We moved to Colorado and lived on Peterson AFB.  After that, here’s a timeline of the highlights.  Oh..and I am not making this shit up, just so ya know. =)

1978- 1979

  • Parents divorce after dad found out mom is cheating and mom chased after dad with a butcher knife, managed to stab the master bedroom door a few times while dad called the police, and she is hauled off to jail.
  • Dad gets custody of four girls.
  • Dad also started touching me inappropriately.

1980- 1982

  • 1st attempt to “hide” from mom, dad moves me and my sisters to Tennessee and live with my grandmother for a little bit, then moves again to the projects in Johnson City, TN.
  • My first crush – Vaughn H. and Scott Baio.  I thought for sure Scott and I would eventually get married.
  • First boyfriend – Barry H.

1983 – 1985

  • 2nd attempt to get away from mom, dad moves us all to Virginia
  • Play volleyball, also long distance runner (go figure), and cheerleader for about 30sec.
  • Fall “in love” for the first time and experience my first real kiss under the boardwalk at Virginia Beach, during Octoberfest – awesome memory.  I was 14.
  • Get drunk and lose my virginity to some guy in Delaware over a weekend road trip with best friend at age 15.
  • First job – hired through some state youth job program as a custodian (janitor).
  • Meet another guy and start going out with him.
  • Sister starts complaining about inappropriate touching from dad.  Dad and I get into big fight.  I run away.
  • Break up with first love because of all the stuff that’s going on and start dating other guy more.
  • Picked up by cops and refused to go home.
  • Placed into emergency shelter for two weeks while social services decide what to do with me.
  • Social services contacts mom came to VA and saw her for the first time since I was 8.
  • Boyfriend asks me to marry him two weeks after going out.  We are stupid.  He is 18 and I am 15.
  • Sisters and I all go to live with mom.  Custody is taken away from dad.
  • Dad moves to Utah.
  • Get caught shoplifting at some shoe store in CO.
  • Mom accuses me of prostitution (not even close to being true) and puts me on a bus back to VA with $60 with nowhere specific to go.

1986 – 1990

  • Live/hide in boyfriend’s closet and house-hopped around until I was caught shoplifting again at K-mart.
  • Get put into group home for troubled girls and boys.
  • Moves into foster home.
  • Tries to commit suicide at age a couple of days before 17th birthday.
  • Spend 17th birthday in a shrinks office.
  • Foster father tries to make some moves on me.  I think I can handle him (I could’ve), but dying to tell someone so I tell the shrink about this thinking it was confidential.  Find out that not everything is confidential.  Feel horrible for accidentally turning him in.
  • I’m taken out of foster home and moved into another foster home.
  • Senior year – eloped with boyfriend.  Drop out of school two months later and 6mos. left of school. *smacks forehead*
  • Hubby gets into trouble with the law for stupid shit.  He ends up with suspended sentence, probation and community service.
  • Hubby doesn’t fulfill community service obligations and decides to run.  I go with him.  We end up in CA
  • Live in dad’s yard for about a month because he won’t allow us to go inside the house.
  • San Francisco earthquake
  • Hubby gets into trouble for domestic violence (battery – me) and decides to come back to VA and turn himself in.  I go with him.
  • Hubby gets lucky and serves no jail time.  We move into his parents house.
  • Hubby and I get a place of our own.
  • I’m hired by Sears Outlet, in the mall.
  • I get pregnant.

1991 – 1997

  • Give birth to beautiful baby girl in January of 1991.
  • Move back in with hubby’s parents.
  • Find out I’m pregnant again, at 6wk. check-up
  • I’m at the K-mart I got caught shoplifting at, as cashier *shrugs shoulders*
  • I give birth to handsome baby boy December of 1991.
  • Somehow gain guardianship over youngest sister.
  • Worst day of my life – lose kids, hubby, and sister in an attempt to make a run for it with the kids to get away from hubby.  May 19, 1993
  • I’m homeless for a month, living out of my car.
  • Move in with a church friend of my dads
  • Primary custody of kids granted to me through court-ordered mediation
  • Take and pass the GED exam – yayeeee!
  • Dad’s “christian” friend kicks me and the kids out because social services isn’t working fast enough to get me on welfare and thereby delaying any money she’s going to get out of me. – another horrific day.
  • Live in roach-infested temporary shelter with the kids.  They are still both under 2yrs. old.
  • Move into battered women’s shelter.
  • Start attending business school and save every penny I get.
  • Move out of shelter into my very own home (rented).
  • Hired for my fist office job to be an attorney’s right-hand and made crap for money.
  • Is offered a better job in DC with law firm.
  • Graduate early from business school.
  • Pregnant sister comes to live with me, but she ends up leaving me and making me poor again.
  • Move back into homeless shelter with the kids.
  • Move out of shelter and manage to get into a beautiful rental home.
  • Meet someone on the other extreme and “safe”, fall in love and marry him.

1998 – Present

  • The ex threatens me and refuses to let kids go out of state.
  • I leave state thinking I can fight him later.  Leave kids with him and his family and move to Hawaii with new hubby.  HUGE mistake!
  • Lose battle over kids have to resort to only seeing them during holidays.
  • I’m hired on as HR person for computer training school and am able to take classes for free.
  • I give birth to another handsome boy in January 2000
  • Quit job to be a stay-at-home-mom, while still being able to more classes for free at the computer training school.
  • Start my own website from scratch, learning HTML and some CSS coding, full of little digital doodles drawn with PaintShop Pro, GIMP, Photoshop and any other imaging software I can get my hands on – I even make some money off of this stuff!
  • 911 – another horrible day, most of it spent wondering how long it would be before I see hubby again.
  • Move to Pennsylvania in December of 2001 and only get to see older kids every summer and holidays
  • Daughter moves in and out again within a two week period.  Son won’t leave his dad.  HUGE mistake!
  • Hubby decides not to re-enlist and we move to Arkansas.
  • Applied for and was hired by the state – very rewarding job, crappy pay
  • Daughter moves in and out twice before finally settling in permanently, but son still won’t budge.
  • Company hubby works for offers him an opportunity to transfer.  He takes it.  We move to Mississippi.

And there ya have it.  All the ugly and a few really spectacular moments thrown in there too.  After writing all that, I’m wondering how on earth I got to be so damn perky.   I really am though.  I’ve been through some shit, but I guess I’m a better person for it.  Like I said, those were just the highlights.  There’s a lot more to the story.


2 thoughts on “Can We Say “TMI”?

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